More

More.

We hear this word absolutely everywhere. We need to be more focused. More peaceful. Do more. Be busier. Have more side hustles. Make more money. Practice more meditation. Eat more healthy foods. No matter what we do, it never seems like enough.

And I am here to say: what you’re doing right here, in this moment, is enough.

I live in New York City, where everyone is expected to have a full time job, social life and at least one side hustle and maybe a podcast that they collaborate on. They’re expected to do more and get less: you are flabbergasted when your friend who lives in Manhattan, works a stressful fulltime job and does a side business as well as like six other things lives in a 3 bedroom apartment share with two people they never see. Or your other friend who is an entrepreneur, doing their full time gig that they hate while pursuing things they love: livestreaming video games, making music or teaching classes. It never seems like enough and they are always busy.

At the end of the day, we all head to sleep despite how busy we are. We all eat food. We all shower regularly. We all take a few moments of peace to collect ourselves before we enter another stressful situation. No matter how much you enjoy your job or your side gig or your audience, you are still going to need to get your mind focused or you’re going to be a mess.

But how can we focus on the now if we are always focused on the next thing? When does our mind get a break to think about what we are feeling in this exact moment? When we focus on More, we don’t focus on what is important: this moment in time. It will never happen again. You may have a similar experience, but this moment will never be repeated. These thoughts and feelings may come and go, but you won’t live them the exact same.

I ask one thing of you today: take a break, sit back for a moment to evaluate what you’re feeling this very second. Close your eyes and feel the room. Are there some noises in the background that are distracting you? Accept them, focus back on your breath. Are you smelling last weeks gym clothes that you forgot until this very moment because you’ve been doing More? Accept that, resign yourself to drop off your laundry, then go back to breathing. This will take time to do. But for just three, five, ten, fifteen minutes take a break from your day.

Repeat the mantra: You are enough. You are worthy. Who you are in this exact moment is perfect. What you are doing right now is enough.

When you are finished with your meditation, look at your needs. Are you doing More because you feel that you are not fulfilled in some areas of your life? Do you need to constantly keep busy because you are afraid to feel lonely? Or inadequate? Take some time to think on these things. It is okay to do more because it brings you pleasure or peace. Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, and take some time to feel this moment.

You are enough. You are worthy. Who you are in this exact moment is perfect. What you are doing right now is enough.


We are always pushing yourselves to do more, be more, have more. But where does that leave us in the now?


Self-Care Sunday

Sunday has quite the reputation. It’s a time of nervousness about the upcoming week, while at the same time giving you a feeling of hopefulness that the upcoming days will be productive.

My weekend routine consists of going over what we have in the cabinets and then shopping on Peapod.com for a Sunday grocery delivery, planning our meals for the week and trying to sort out what I plan to do this week. We sort out activities, pick up and drop off of our kiddo, after school activities, any plans we have and what our bills will be for the upcoming week. It sounds far more organized than it is: it takes us about a half hour to do all of this on Saturday mornings.

Once you get used to doing a routine, it becomes quicker and quicker. Cleaning takes about 30 minutes (45 if we are doing the floors) for our 2 bedroom apartment. As long as you keep yourself remotely sorted during the week your weekend cleaning routine will not take nearly as long. We throw on some tunes during naptime and go to town. I try to do this on Saturday so that on Sunday I can focus on self-care and getting ready for the rest of the week.

On Sunday we get our groceries delivered in the morning, I prep some lunches and cut up whatever I can for dinners that week, and I truly try to make a positive headspace for the rest of the week.

Weeks where this happens are far better than weeks where I just cannot make it happen. Kiddo is having a bad day, I’m exhausted, someone is sick - things happen and I refuse to beat myself up about it. We can just make due as we go along and try again next week.

I’ve included some of my Sunday self-care tips in the graphic below. I hope they help you feel like you can try at least one of them on Sunday. Let me know how it goes! I love hearing from people.

Self-Care Sunday.png

Mundane Anxiety

We’ve all felt it. That ridiculous notion that our anxiety has no place in the “real world” and we don’t have a right to feel that way.

And then you’re sitting at your desk, and the phone rings.

Ugh.

Who is calling? A client? Someone who is going to complain to me about something? Ask me a question I don’t know the answer to? Am I going to even answer this questions correctly? Am I going to even answer this phone even though it’s my job?

This is what I refer to as “mundane anxiety” and it is the core of my being and the core of what prompts me to write this. I absolutely, unequivocally despite answering the phone. If my own cell phone rings, I don’t answer. Whoever it is can text me if it’s that important. But it is literally my job to answer the phone at my work so I do it. But each time, I cringe.

Where does that fear stem from? Did I have some horrible phone experience that scarred me for life? Did someone once nearly beat me to death with a phone? No. Nothing like that. This is anxiety, and there is just no answer to the “why” sometimes.

So I do what I need to do. I pick up at the second ring, because I spend the first debating using the “I didn’t answer because I was in the bathroom” excuse. But that first ring I also prepare myself. I put a smile on my face, I pull up the general information I usually need to answer a call, and I pick up the phone.

Mundane anxiety doesn’t mean I will freeze and have a panic attack. It means I have that sudden, mild moment where I run through every bad scenario in my head before I even have the chance to move towards the receiver. Not every form of anxiety is outward: no one around me can tell I don’t want to answer the phone, or that it makes me uncomfortable. If I constantly showed any of that, I would surely be writing my resume instead of this post right now.

It’s perfectly okay to sit with these feelings of fear and to be uncomfortable - it’s okay to give yourself permission to feel those feelings. You aren’t doing anyone a disservice by having feelings.

Finding small ways to face your fears is how I get over this hurtle. I smile before I pick up. I have the information needed in front of my face. I have a pen nearby to jot down notes or write down what this person called about so I can call them back, or write down their e-mail address. All of this helps to alleviate the panic that courses through me every single time the phone rings.

And then I pick up.

And it’s a recorded telemarketer.